About

Deadlines and Dirty Martinis

This blog is the child of all the schooling and experiences in my life… 

Basically, you will find a funny collection of writing that puts me to shame on an hourly basis.  This is a blog to read about the humor of life (particularly mine) while sitting on the sofa eating an entire gallon of ice cream, in pajamas, after totally busting it in your office right when the hot intern walked by. 

I always wanted to be a creative writer but ended up with the techies; so, this blog is my creative outlet.   

  • I work smart and under the radar.  Figure that out :)
  • I love going out for cocktails.  Hand me an extra dirty martini on the rocks and a beer and I’ll love you forever.
  • I love to bake even though I barely do anymore.  I manage to make about 4 sets of brownies, 72 cupcakes, and 4 rumcakes a year.  I would really love to open a bakery.
  • I love fashion.  I cannot afford every handbag, shoe, or outfit that I love, but it doesn’t stop me from looking.
  • I love to laugh. 
  • I love travelling and going to events.  Football and old cities make me happy.  I cannot afford every trip I want to take either, but saving for one at a time will take me around the world.

 

Lextra Dirty

This blog was inspired by Drunk Girl.

She is a superhero with a fluttering cape, sometimes the cape might be tucked in her underwear or be hiding a vomit stain on the wife-beater she is wearing underneath.

In her hand she holds a drink.

In the early years, her drink was more than likely a concoction stolen from her parent’s liquor cabinet.

After that a can of Busch light.

Next came a wine glass in her hand, and a large bottle of wine wedged under her arm.

A red solo cup keeps the jungle juice or whatever keg beer she is consuming under wraps.

Maybe even a vodka, club soda with a lime in a clear plastic cup she managed to sneak out of the bar.

But after a long hard day, saving the world one drink at a time, Drunk Girl holds an Extra Dirty Martini.

Her martini is always made with Ketel One and topped off with a few blue cheese stuffed olives.

But in all honesty, I write just as I speak. A creative writing major who barely writes anymore, this blog will hopefully live up to the standards of being my muse. Some of my stories will be nonfiction, some will be fiction and some will be both. You can guess what is what all you want, but I will never ever tell. Unlike James Frey, to be safe everything here is fiction. Names will always be changed to protect my victims and if you ever meet me, do not consider yourself safe. I may exploit you by creating a character from one dumb thing you have done or said.

Most importantly, the LextraDirty link will probably not be suitable for younger audiences. The writing will be strewn will cusswords and vulgarity, so please keep this page hidden from your rugrats. Though I love them, my writing will darken their innocent souls.

Last but not least, thank you to Ms. Dirty for creating this site. She is my light at the end of the dark, dark creative tunnel.