Dirty Blogtini

Let’s set up a hypothetical for today’s blog.  Say you lived with someone…and they are less than perfect on the scale of cleanliness.  What do you do?

 “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” for some.  I do not feel closer to God while cleaning the house screaming obscenities in my head about cleaning up after people.  But, that might just be me.

While I think over the ultimate solution to this hypothetical situation, I’ll leave you with this little remix to “I will survive.”  Please sing along

 This glorious song sung by Ms.Gaynor at one time should provide the perfect background to a think session.  Ms. Dirty’s remix is in regular font and borrowed original words are italicized.

First I was so mad,
I was horrified.
This hoe had moved into my house,
And dirtied up my life.

“But I spent so many nights,
thinking how you did me wrong.
I grew strong.
I learned how to carry on.”

Oh, well, hey.
Now you’re home.
You just walked across this new mopped floor,
Tracking dirt up in my place.

“I should have changed my stupid lock.
I should have made you leave your key.
If I had known for just one second,
you’d be back to bother me.”

I need some balls,
To kick her out.
She makes me crazy,
She belongs out on the street.

I think you tried to hurt me – with rotten food attracting flies,
“You think I’d crumble,
You think I’d lay down and die.
Oh no, not I.
I will survive!”
As long as I know how to mop,
I know I’ll stay alive.
I’ve got all my life to clean,
I’ve got all my strength to clean.
“And I’ll survive.
I will survive!”

It takes all the strength I have,  
Not to kick you out.
Kept taking out the trash,
And trying not to pout…

“And I spent oh so many night
Just feeling sorry for myself”
I never cried,
But I thought about getting’ high!

“And you see me,
Somebody new.
I’m not that chained up little person,”
Still doing for you.

And so you felt like making mess,
And just expect me to be clean,
Now I’m saving all my cleaning
For someone who’s paying me!

I need some balls,
To kick her out.
She makes me crazy,
She belongs out on the street.

I think you tried to hurt me – with rotten food attracting flies,
“You think I’d crumble,
You think I’d lay down and die.
Oh no, not I.
I will survive!”
As long as I know how to mop,
I know I’ll stay alive.
I’ve got all my life to clean,
I’ve got all my strength to clean.
“And I’ll survive.
I will survive.
I will survive!”

I had a revelation this morning while getting dressed for work.  This may be the most profound knowledge that I have about fashion.

I suppose I have never tried anything like what I did this morning.  This could have been a total travesty if followed through.  When something like this comes your way in life, you can’t help but think the angels are watching over you.

I will share this wealth of knowledge with you because I wouldn’t want anyone to discover what I did in the middle of a work day or a date. 

Here goes… You cannot wear Capri pants with a ¾ length sweater or shirt.  It just looks like your clothes have shrunk.

Hahahah!  I committed this major crime in the wee hours this morning.  Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or maybe I have NO fashion sense, but at one point I was wearing what looked like the clothes of a 7 year old on my 20 something body. 

 Please remember this for the rest of your days.  It can be prevented.

Setup of the website is coming along great!  While I finish the site here is a funny blurb I have taken from an email I sent my friend.  

Kitty is Tons of Fun

“…[V]ery funny story about your cat!  I haven’t washed mine in years because she has spent the last few years in my mom’s yard LOL.  So now she is twice as wild and B-A-D.  The Last time I took her to the vet she escaped her cage, ran close to the road around the parking lot like a maniac, then jumped inside a car engine.  90 year old grandma volunteer had to pry her out.  Kitty is tons of fun.”

This is kitty after running a muck.  She was super mad, hehe.  Don’t tell her I posted the pic.

Don't escape your cage and maybe you won't be mad...